1. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
2. The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
3. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
4. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
5. "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams
6. The road to success is always under construction.
7. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
8. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
9. Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
10. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz
11. "Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."
12. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
13. Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
14. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
15. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
16. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
17. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown
18. How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?
19. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
20. He who laughs last didn't get it.
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